All posts tagged: awareness

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The 4 worst relationship behaviors to avoid, based on science

Fighting with our loved ones can feel terrifying, and it’s easy – if we don’t know what we’re doing – to get trapped in bad habits that lead to the deterioration of our marriage or long-term relationship. Fortunately, as we discussed earlier, conflict is natural and to be expected.

However, there are four behaviors to avoid when in conflict, according to the Gottmans’ copious research.

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How to embrace anger and not repress it: insights from poetry

Do you handle your anger, or does it handle you?

We need to skillfully deal with anger when it arises, lest it derail our better intentions and lead to hurtful words and actions to those around us.

We get angry for legitimate reasons. A plan didn’t turn out as we’d hoped. We feel hurt by someone’s actions or words.

But that doesn’t mean the best response is to lash out while we feel ablaze with fury. Doing so usually pushes people away – intimated or scared by our fiery side – or escalates a confrontation instead of allowing us to negotiate productively.

How can we engage with anger, instead of treating it like a feared tornado that rages into our psyche without warning, razing our best-laid intentions?